The Seventh Gate of Hell

So, I’m going to be teaching 7th grade English this year. It really is quite a feat, getting into this job, and I owe so much to Lady Luck. All over the state, they are laying off teachers, but somehow I (the guy with no experience who just graduated in May) managed to slide into this position before somebody with more experience applied. Mike D. and I are they only ones from our grad. class to get hired in the school system, and we were the ones who student-taught with the green team at the middle school. Hrmm… coincidence? heh.

I’m going to be on the purple team this year, so I guess people will have to buy me purple ties and purple shirts.

Wish me luck. She’s held out for me so far, but her favor might be failing; I’ve hurt myself several times today, once by falling up the stairs (yes, “falling up”; don’t act like you’ve never fallen up stairs) and a few times by banging my leg or elbow against something.

Best Regards,


Gross Aristocracy

Katy made me watch the show “My Super Sweet 16” on MTV last night. God, such a display of upper class snobbery and wastefulness. This girl’s mother spent over $100,000 on her 16th birthday party! A hundred thousand dollars just wasted for one night. She could have donated that money, held a charity fund-raising party, or given a grant to an artist or scientist! It makes me want to become a communist, but not a communist as you usually think of them (especially the ineffective ones we have in America that just talk about how they wish it was possible). It makes me want to be Robin Hood and snatch that hundred thousand from that woman before she can waste it. So, if I ever turn to a life of crime, you’ll know that I’m pirating from the rich to give to the poor. God, it makes me sick.

On a not quite entirely separate note, have you seen that show “Laguna Beach”? They claim it’s a reality show, that they just follow the kids around. If it is, it’s masterfully done. Great camera shots, great production. If it’s fake, as I insist it must be, it is also masterfully done. The kids act more real than the people on the “Real World”. It could be fake. All they say at the beginning is: “The people are real; the places are real; and the drama is real.” Actors are real people, too. (Well, maybe not. Did you ever eat with one?) They just don’t change the names of the places they go. And it’s the sort of drama that could definitely happen in some rich kid’s life, so maybe it’s based on true stories. And there is crazy product placement in that show, which makes me think it’s fake. (They blurr out addresses and liscence plates, but not a big giant bag of Doritos that just happens to be completely turned towards the camera. Please!)

It was just too much modernity for one night.



Shamelessly pirated from Jay Leno’s Headlines:

So much for not legislating from the bench:

What a slogan:

Funny, people in Pittsburgh have been cursing the Ohio River for years…

This one’s a bit close to home (Charleston).

And finally… You know how they alter words to make names for cars, like Ultimate into Altima, Maximum into Maxima… well, I always wondered when they’d move on to swear words…

Off to Sea What I Can See

Well, we’re heading off to the beach tomorrow. Ahhh, Sandbridge… relaxation, kyaking, and fun in the sun. And that means NO BLOGGING… at least for a week. I’ll make some Ologs, though, and upload them when we get back, plus lots of pics. The next time most of you see me, I’ll be married! How about that? I won’t bore you guys with a bunch of mushy stuff, but I love Katy and I can’t wait!

Best Regards,