A new business idea from Katy + Matt: Cirque du les Hommes

Picture this:

You walk into a large circus tent. Spotlight on Eric wearing circus ringmaster outfit.

“Ladies, I ask you to join us on a journey to the far reaches of your wildest dreams. We have traveled to the four corners of West Virginia to find the hottest hunks you have ever seen, here to fulfill all of your fantasies, and to bring you La Cirque du les Hommes.”

The sound of tribal drums fills the air as four men carry out a large cage. Inside the cage is a ferocious-looking Steve V., wearing a leopard-print thong, and a lion-like Aaron H. They dance (dance choreographed by Amie), enticing the women with their growls. Lights go up and reveal the drums are played by James W., wearing African war-paint and a loin-cloth. The drum he plays is strategically placed over his crotch. Eric’s voice comes over the speaker.

“Allow me to present to you the most drool-worthy lion-tamer in the world, Marc of the Beasts!”

Mark F. comes out, also dressed in a loin cloth and tribal paint. Using a whip, he tames the lions and teaches them to give lap-dances to the audience. Trent runs across the stage, wearing a leopard-print vest.

Next act: “Everybody make sure you get a mug of grog, because it’s a pirate’s life for you!” A techno version of Yo ho! It’s a Pirate’s Life for Me starts playing. Taylor and Dan (Byers) come out in pirate outfits. They end up in thongs and pirate hats. “Ladies, be careful, or you might get hooked!”

Next: “Presenting Adam the Elephant, known far and wide for his long trunk.” Hot, hot, hot! starts playing and Adam comes in, doing his strip fire-eating act, taking off more and more as the fire makes him hotter and hotter.

“Get ready for some horsin’ around, Ladies!” John C., Sam, and Aaron W. come out on horseback, dressed as cowboys. They make their horses dance in a line as Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy plays. Then they hop off and do a strip line dance, roping audience members with their lassos. They end in chaps, hats, and thongs, with pistols at their sides.

Then, all the guys come out and do their signature finishing piece (also choreographed by Amie), lip-syncing to Hakuna Matata. They end up in leopard-print thongs for just a moment before black-out.

We’re still auditioning for the pink poodles in tu-tus. We could also do “Salute to the South”, featuring guys in rebel flag thongs.

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